As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
