don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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