Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
