do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
