I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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