The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
