Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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