So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize