There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
