Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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