i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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