all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
