Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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