If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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