I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
