Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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