First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
