And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize