The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
