we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
