just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have fence marks all over my body
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize