i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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