it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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