do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
