I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
