she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
