Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
