My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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