He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
