just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
