he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
