You really coming over, don't trick.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
