If i come over, it means nothing
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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