Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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