we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
