she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
