I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I cut my penus on the lid.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
