singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
