it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
