My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
