i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
