When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
