So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize