I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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