dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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