Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
