you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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