As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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