Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
