how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
