can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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