We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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