now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
