That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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