All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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