I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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