you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
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