i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
