My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
