So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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