My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
