i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
