would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
