I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm sobbing to NWA
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
