it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I intend to get homeless drunk
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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