I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
