It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I can text with my tongue
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize