Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize