Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You should frame my arrest warrant.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
