And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
